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II.

by Retfish

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1.
Myshell 02:53
Standing in the rain in a rainy year. All my fear's absorbed in a cold hearted tear. Who could imagine this on new year's eve ? I couldn’t and I still can't believe. How thin is a difference between man and whore? The only thing that's left is your picture on the frozen door. This empty city, empty friends, empty buildings, empty ends pushed me into the dell as I walked away from the wishing well. Even that I am so far away from you, every night fuck with the nightmare that resembles you hope to not see your face, nor hear your voice, there is nothing more you can do. But I won't forget, I won't forget, I won't forget you. A junkyard in my head back then, unspoken words exposed by pen as a blind shot in a dark, as a white shark in a jar. Bumptiousness ingrown in my core ruined your feelings and belief. I was walking towards mirage with a temporary smile when everything seemed to be perfectly planned. How stupid we are. Even that I am so far away from you, every night fuck with the nightmare that resembles you hope to not see your face, nor hear your voice, there is nothing more you can do. 'cause it hurts to feel, to touch something that is gone. Now a broken boy shares his broken dreams with an empty bed.
2.
After every smile there comes a tear. The rusty saying that everything must end is being proved with every count of a heartbeat, every time moon replaces sun. And there comes the darkest spark, like the one you have never wished for. It surrounds what is left of your appetite and you're kneeling to avoid the fall. Well it's not that bad when your hunger doesn't come from serenity or peace of mind. But this is not my case! Constantly turning back to what's left is the only reason my head is waking every morning. It draws happiness on the face I wear. A face that is hiding all the forgotten time. I know that part of me is on its way to die I am not complaining, I am accepting it all. But if there is some space for my very last wish, then please, let's take our chance: adopt the best of what we were and release it to who we all are now. Just don't let our remains decay. After every smile there comes a tear every time moon replaces sun.
3.
I'm waving good-bye, moments that has passed by, tossing in my mind what you've found? And I'm waving good-bye, to the sailors that had set sail down the river out of this land. But the wind won't blow till your dreams won't flow in a row, this is how far we're able to go. All the effort was thrown behind our back - sign of this town. How does my whisper sound when I sing too loud? I'm waving good-bye, I'm waving good-by, I'm waving with a doubt, 'cause our river is dry
4.
Suzerainty 02:33
Walking in a dark through the forest of naivety. All good and bad burned in the same barrel. I threw the boomerang away with the hope it won't come back. Silhouette of Her told me, Love's waiting on a highway. Since all the shit that happened before this story got a sense. I was not born to be happy, I wished I wasn't born at all. Angel had disappeared and the wine in a glass had turned into a sand. In the middle of the land of a darkness in the middle of my chest all soft had turned into a coal. I almost hear the call of own goal and it haunts me. No exit, no light, no place to hide. Running away of reality since the day of my birth. Tell me, why the hell am I here ? Why the only thing I feel is a fear? Second whisper of the devil in my head “to hate is easier than to be led”
5.
"I am not scared! In my eyes you spotted just a coal colored speck." This small lie I won't ever forget. I said it once now I am repeating it all again. It echoes through my head while it's digging deeper in me. The question isn't what blackens these lines with blood the question is: who fucking cares?! Looking through my empty frames just to realize there is nothing to regret nor to miss or weep at. Is there something wrong in here? Are my senses fooling me? Has my past really just disappeared? The future shrugs its shoulders I'm scared to get older. Is there something at my entrance door? Numb I stare at the door asking questions like open it or not. Over the sound of my own fear my next step I can barely hear. Now I am scared as hell! My own knocking is ringing like a death bell. My head is seconds from the blast. I bet you don’t want to hear those voices in my head I bet you don’t care about any shit they would have said. I asked those voices if it's time to go on or fall in self-regret all alone? Question marks awoke my senses, hope it won’t be late it seems that all the time I was chasing my own tail! With breath held I've opened the door what I found wasn't eye-catching at all: desperately reviving my own heart as I was lying there without signs of life. All those small stories ending as tragedies, all those small battles ending with big victories all this we count as talk of bad luck all this we consider a cornerstone of our own fluke. It's the necessity of our life path / it makes us who we are inside. So if you find yourself resurrecting your own life, don't panic, as it's better to be done. ´Cause there is no time for cowardice and no reason to hide the only thing you need to do is aim for the heights.

about

Drums recorded at The Parentals Studio by Miroslav Felber
The rest was recorded, mixed and mastered at Greenfield by Ján Terpak
Produced by Retfish and Ján Terpak
Album artwork by Dan Urban

All songs written and performed by Retfish
Music in "Rats rode a river" written by Pavol Kravčik, lyrics and performance by Peter Tešliar

Retfish are:
Peter Tešliar – vocals/bass
Martin Bilička – vocals/guitar
Richard Rohaľ – vocals/guitar
Dan Urban – drums

Booking:
retarded.f@gmail.com
UK: matt.raybould@hotmail.co.uk

Shop: retarded.shop@gmail.com
© 2015 Retarded Fish

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released April 9, 2015

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Retfish Kosice, Slovakia

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